Will you marry me?

Recently I have been thinking a lot about marriage. Not because of anyone in particular, just marriage in general. It all started last Saturday at 20somethings. A normal evening consists of our main meeting time, and then a time when part of the group goes to someone's house for some informal hang-out time. This particular night, the conversation ended up on marriage, specifically Al Mohler's view of it. Two of the guys in the group had recently listened to a message by Al Mohler (I listened to it a couple days later), encouraging young people to get married rather than live in continued, intentional singleness (with the exception of someone who has a gift of celibacy). He said that too many Christians are refusing to grow up, preferring singleness to the responsibility of marriage and children. He gave many dangers that this causes as well as God-glorifying reasons to get married, and really encouraged his listeners, especially guys, to move towards getting married.

After we all kinda understood and agreed with the gist of the message, one girl said, "Well if the boys would just do something..." To which one guy replied, "Hey, it goes both ways." And thus began a discussion about what each gender should be doing in order to be "intentional about marraige." Though we all agreed that guys should lead in relationships, some guys seemed to think that there was something (that was never defined) that the girls should be doing. And of course every girl was thinking, "Hey, I haven't turned down any dates lately. What more do you want?" If there really is something that a Godly woman should do, I (and the other girls there) want to know, but I just don't see that Biblically.

The next day, one of the men who teaches Senior High SS was telling me that he encourages teens (with their parents' help) to be intentional about marriage. Now, obviously that looks a little different when you are 16 than when you are 23, but the principles are the same. So I asked him what he thinks girls should be doing. He said pray; make a list of what you are looking for in a husband; determine your beliefs about dating, marriage and parenting; and make life decisions that move in the direction of being married and having a family. I guess I have done all that, and there's nothing left to do but wait on God.

I know girls could err by being career-driven and independent (in a feminist sense). And they can certainly err by being too picky. But I still think the blame lies at the feet of the guys. The only revelation I had over all this was that girls should not be afraid to say that they want to get married. For years I have tried to focus on being content single, desiring only my relationship with Christ, etc... And I would never say (except to close girl friends) "I really want to get married" for fear of sounding desperate or discontent, or looking like I don't believe in the sovereighty of God to make that happen. But I'm not so sure that is necessary. One can be satisfied in Christ while hoping/planning to get married in the (near?) future. So next time someone asks what I want to do in the future, I will tell them the truth.

Evolution, Theology and CCM

If I was ever to be convinced of the theory of evolution (or maybe of post-millenialism), it would be because of the recent trends in Contemporart Christian Music. I really thing that it is getting better and better -- actually evolving. Now, of course I do not mean all of it. Lots of CCM, past and present, is shallow and sometimes unbiblical. But in the last several years, I have been impressed with several artists who are writing music that is God-centered, theologically rich, and saturated with Scripture. They seem to reflect a Reformed view of salvation and a faith in God's sovereignty. They focus on cherishing Christ and reaching the world with the gospel. This is definitely progress!
Some older groups and artists like Steven Curtis Chapman and the Newsboys have been maturing in their theology and they reflect that in their songs. And there are some newer artists like Chris Tomlin and Mercyme whose songs are worshipful and very deep. Then there is always Caedmon's Call who seems to have consistently over several years produced songs that are full of Scripture and that communicate some pretty profound concepts (some of their songs are just downright weird, too).
One artist whose lyrics have blown me away is Todd Agnew. You can actually find all of the Doctrines of Grace in his songs. For example:

Total depravity

"I was born with no chance of life--
Dead before I took my first breath."

"I cannot believe I'm this dirty;
I'm ashamed to even ask to be clean.
'Cause I can't think of anyone less worthy;
I've nothing to offer or to bring."

"Come ye weary, heavy laden,
Lost and ruined by the fall.
If you tarry 'till you're better,
You will never come at all."

Election

"You pulled me from the mouth of hell so You could hold me.
You knew You'd save me long before I called Your name."

"But you made me Your child,
And you called me Your own..."

Particular redemption (stated in the positive, like the Bible)

"My Jesus bled and died for my sins..."

"Jesus died for our sins,
His blood washed away these stains."

"Jesus died to give us life --
A little joy in the midst of pain.
He paid your debt in full and you are not guilty..."

Irresistable grace

"You reached down and saved me;
You parted the sea so I could breathe.
You reached down and saved me;
You pulled me from all that was drowning me."

"It's Your kindness, Lord, that leads us to repentance;
Your favor, Lord, is our desire."

"Your love reaches across the miles I raced
To separate me from You.
Your love cradles me like a child when I
Finally reach for You.
Your love's beyond my understanding."

Perseverance of the saints

"I don't know where I turned around
From chasing what I always found completed me --
More than I could dream.
I don't know why I can't remain
Safe here where I always came to meet with you
And you always met with me.
And You're still here waiting.
I fail to see why You'd still be waiting to forgive me
After all that I have done.
But I cannot say that one time I returned and You had turned away;
Your love never fails."

"I wait for Your rain to fall --
The waves of Your grace to wash over me.
I wait for Your rain to fall --
Strange how forgiveness comes so easily
When I call Your name,
And wait for Your rain."

So, if you are sick of songs like, "God believes in YOU!" or songs that are all about your feelings, take heart. God is doing a work in and through many contemporary artists, and we get to benefit from it.

Valentine's Party

On Saturday, my college/career group (called "20somethings") at church held its second Valentine's party for the widows and widowers that go to Bethlehem. Someone came up with the idea last year, and a few of us had the burden to do it again. We all had such a blessed time talking with saints in our church who have grown in grace much longer than we have. The mad-lib game (see Valentine's mad lib post) was enjoyable, and one team won the prize for funniest story (mostly because of they way the guy read it).
Those of us who planned the party were really praying for a few certain things, and it was neat to see God answer those requests.

• Though we wanted many of the people we invited as well as many of the 20somethings to attend, we prayed for God to bring just whom He wanted to come. We only had 7 invited guests, and about 11 people from our group, but the numbers matched well. There were enough of us to do the decorating and serving, and we did not have way more people of one group than the other.
• We needed money to buy plates, decorations and flowers to give away, and we told the 20somethings group that we would like to raise about $50. A few people chipped in money, and then someone put $50 in my door with a note designating it for the party. God answered that prayer anonymously.
• Finally, we prayed that we would form lasting relationships. When the afternoon ended, I saw a few girls exchanging phone numbers with the ladies that they had met. I also talked to our guest speaker who is involved with the seniors' ministry about opportunities for our groups to do things together in the future.

Our purposes for the party were to bless the widows and widowers by doing something for them, and also to bridge the generation gap (which is especially real in such a big church). By God's grace, He caused both of these desires to become realities.

Joel Osteen

On Sunday night I watched the pastor of the largest church in this country preach one of his typical messages. I have heard about Joel Osteen, but never actually read his book or listened to him myself. His message was sad and even sickening. Instead of preaching about God, Joel preached about me (or we could substitute any of the other thousands of people that were either present or watching on TV). The sermon consisted of statements all about the congregation: "YOU are loved by God. YOU have potential. God approves YOU. Don't be down on YOURSELF." I would guess he used at least 500 personal pronouns in the half hour that he spoke.

The main point of his message was that since God is for you, you should be for yourself too. He quoted the verse "Love your neighbor as you love yourself" and said, you guessed it, "You cannot love your neighbor until you already have a healthy love for yourself." He constantly glossed over sins calling them "weaknesses" and "mistakes," and said "For every bad thing about you, God sees thousands of good things." He did sort-of contradict this statement later, however, by using the exaple of the prodigal son. "God treats us like the father treated his prodigal son. Instead of looking at all the bad things he had done, the father saw only his choice to return home." So do I have a little sin or a lot? Do I have a little goodness or a lot?

One thing that was sadly missing from his message was the righteousness of Christ. Osteen told me that God approves me (I am even wearing that piece of spiritual armor called the "breastplate of God's approval"), but he never said why. The cross, the perfect Christ, the atonement, and the fact that God sees me in His Son, were not mentioned. On the contrary, he preached that God is seeing the good in me and is therefore approving me.

His style was flawless; he moved from statement to statement without hesitating or checking any notes. But his content was blasphemous. The message included no admiration of the perfection and glory of God, but much fuss over the goodness and potential of man. It would be amazing if God gripped Joel Osteen's heart and caused him to magnify the Creator, not the creation. He has such a following, and would be able to spread that truth to so many people. But until that happens, I am sickened by the harm Osteen is doing to the name of Christ by making Him simply a coach to encourage us in our goodness instead of a perfect Savior who makes us righteous by His loving choice and infinite sacrifice.

Valentine's Mad Lib

Ok, you've all probably done a mad lib at some point in your life. It's a game where someone says, "give me a noun," "give me a verb," "give me an adjective," etc... Then they read a story from which several key words have been removed. They replace those words with the ones you gave, and it makes the story quite ridiculous and often quite funny. So this is a Valentine's mad lib. The twist is this: instead of deciding on words yourself, you use those little conversation hearts (that taste like chalk) in the blanks. I made this for a Valentine's party I am helping to plan, and I hope it will be fun.

So, if you want to try it, go get a little box of conversation hearts and see where they might fit. Here's the story:

Once upon a time, there was a beautiful peasant girl named ______ who lived in a cottage in the middle of the woods. One day, a handsome prince rode by and saw her in her garden. He stopped and said to her, “______.” Shocked that anyone important would be riding in her woods, the girl answered, “______.” The prince immediately fell in love with her and was determined to marry her someday. He visited the girl’s cottage every day, and said many romantic things to her like “______,” “______,” and “______.” He told the girl that she was very _____, and that she was undeniably the ______est _______ he had ever known. He knew that she was his ______, and he wanted to give her ______.

In spite of all this attention, the girl remained cold and unaffected. When the prince came to talk to her, she usually replied, “______” or “______.” The prince was certainly not ______ enough for her, and he would never be her ______.

One day, the prince decided that he could bear this no longer. If she would not love him back, today would be his last visit. He approached her cottage and shouted something he had never dared to say before: “______!” Astonished, the girl replied, “______,” and ran into his arms. They soon were married and lived happily ever after.

I think I will have a rule that you can change the posession of the hearts. For example, if the heart says "my love," you can say "his" or "her" instead of "my."

Purgatorio

I have waited too long to add this blog to my list. It is called Purgatorio, and it is written by one of the worship leaders at Bethlehem. It is brilliant, hillarious and always surprising.
If you read this post about liturgical bingo, read this post which is the same thing, only Bethlehem style.