Update on the Relationship

Just so ya know, the reason that I have not written much about my relationship with Jeff on here is NOT that I don't have much to say or that I don't want to write about it. The reason is that I have way too much to say and will not be able to stop. Phone calls are so much easier for this sort of thing. But here's a few random thoughts:

1.) It has now been a month and a day since our first coffee date. It seems like yesterday and like forever at the same time. I know him so well in just those few weeks because we have talked about almost everything. As far as I know, we have both been completely honest with each other about how we think about all those issues. Therefore, in just a month (and really we decided this even before now) we can both say that we hope to marry each other.

2.) I love looking back and seeing how God has sovereignly worked to get us to this point. Jeff and I can point to several things that had to happen for us to be where we are. We say things like, "If you hadn't asked that question..." "If you hadn't sent that e-mail..." "If I hadn't had this conversation with that person..." "Good thing you didn't hear me say I was kidding..." and there's so much more. Of course we don't look at those as random things that fortunately happened, but as little stuff that God used to begin this relationship.

3.) Each phase of life has so many new things I need to learn. Now I am striving to learn how to love someone not for my sake or his, but for God's. Sometimes I feel that my love for God is so small that it doesn't make sense for Him to give me something that could distract me. But, as Jeff pointed out yesterday, God is not tempting me by giving me a boyfriend. He is blessing me, He is teaching me more about Himself, and He is giving me a new way in which to glorify Him. As with any good thing, Satan can use it to tempt and distract me, but the One in me is greater than him.

4.) It's cool how every couple's relationship is so different. Some people have huge struggles or some big crisis that just defines everything else. Others have an easier, more peaceful time with it. Ours has had very little to struggle through so far, but enough to make it a good story. Seriously, our first date was the most awkward, uncomfortable night of my life. I have never experienced so much of 2 opposite feelings at once. I was so nervous and almost didn't think I could do it, and at the same time I really wanted to go on the date, get to know him and consider the possibility that I would like him. So as crazy as that night was, I wouldn't change it if I could. Now I can look back on all that nervousness and laugh...

5.) A couple months ago, I thought about all the things I have known I want or need in a husband and boiled it down to this: Godly Leader. Jeff is both of those things, though imperfectly. We've talked about Biblical manhood and womanhood, and how we can each live that out both now and when we are married.

6.) Ultimately, I am dating Jeff because he is a Godly guy that I think I want to marry. But along with that, I just plain like him. He's so sweet to me, he makes me laugh, he is kind and thoughtful, and I just love being with him. Oh, and he's really cute too, in case you couldn't tell from the picture.

7.) I am falling in love! I mean that in the most God-centered, logical, Word-based way possible of course. :)

Well, I knew this would get long really fast. I'm sure there is more to come, but that's it for now.